


We Meet Again

by writings_of_bored_gal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-12 13:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writings_of_bored_gal/pseuds/writings_of_bored_gal
Summary: You and Ben were childhood friends but you can’t bare to see him as Kylo Ren so when the resistance send you as a spy and you get captured, you and Ben will both have to face up to one another.





	1. Chapter 1

“C’mon Ben! You’ll never catch me if you don’t run faster than that” You yelled, running behind a boulder in the open field, hiding so you can catch your breath.  
“You shouldn’t have stopped.” You heard from behind you as Ben grabbed your arm. “You’re it.”  
“Can we just give up?” You sighed, slumping up against the rock.  
“Why is it we always give up when you get caught?” Ben grinned, slumping down on the ground next to you.  
“We do not!”  
“Yes.” He laughed, turning his face towards you, “We do. But I’ll forgive you… this time.” 

I couldn’t help but smile. Ben had been your friend since your parents had started working for the resistance when you were 5 years old, he’d been 7 at the time, and had initially avoided you at all costs, but one day you’d been playing with a stick, making zoom noises and he decided he’s show you exactly how a Jedi would really use a lightsaber. From that moment on, for the past 6 years, you’d been inseparable until now. 

“So where exactly is your uncle taking you?” You asked again.  
Ben rolled his eyes. “I don’t know Y/N, but when I come back, I’m going to be a Jedi knight, and I’ll have a real lightsaber and then-“  
“Yeah I know you’ll use the force and save the galaxy and blah blah blah.” You laughed but Ben pouted. “Ben don’t look at me like that. I’m going to miss you, that’s all.”  
“Yeah I know.” He took you under his arm as you sat there for moment in the quiet of the field. 

You scowled at the memory as the stormtrooper pulled on your arm dragging you towards the cell. Captain Phasma was waiting as you were shoved into a seat and your gag removed.  
“Why are you here Miss (Y/L/N?” She asked.  
“I could ask you the same thing.” You spat. “Can I talk to Ren now or do I have to deal with you amateurs?”  
“Kylo Ren is indisposed at this moment in time. Now, who is your commander?” Phasma tried to continue but you rolled your eyes.  
“I need to talk to Be- Kylo. Now.” You sighed.  
“If you don’t co-operate Y/L/N we’ll be forced to use other means to extract information from you.” You felt the end of a gun meet the back fo your head, you knew you should be scared, but you remained calm. You’d been trained for this.  
“Can we post-pone this? You know I’m not going to give anything up and I could really do with some sleep - also maybe then Mr Ren won’t be so indisposed.”  
Phasma grabbed your face, pulling it close to her mask. “Ren owes you nothing rebel scum.” You was pushed back in the chair, your head colliding with the back of the gun again. You felt blood slowly trickle down your neck. “Leave her. Perhaps she’ll be more inclined to talk when she’s hungry.” Phasma lead out all but one of the troopers as you sat there, your head pounding, waiting for sleep to come. 

“You shouldn’t have stopped.” A voice jerked you from your sleep. You knew that voice, you knew that phrase.  
“Piss off Ben.” You said.  
“Don’t say that name.”  
“You didn’t want to talk to me earlier so why bother now?” you asked, unable to hide your anger from him.  
“You’ll see things around here can’t always be how I want them Y/N.”  
“Aren’t you the leader? Isn’t the power why you-“ you stopped, unable to bring yourself to say it. You’d been prepared to be tortured and interrogated for the past 10 years, but nothing could have prepared you to see your once best friend turned enemy for the first time. “Isn’t that why you left everyone behind?”  
“I didn’t mean to.”  
“Oh fuck off you didn’t mean to Ben! I can understand your anger against Luke and even your dad but what did your mum ever do wrong?” You paused, looking him in the eye. “What did I do wrong?”  
“It’s what was wrong with me.” He whispered as he stood up and left, leaving you awake and waiting for Phasma to come back and question you.


	2. Chapter 2

“Ben!” Leia shouted. “Ben it’s almost time for bed c’mon!”

You and Ben stayed, hiding, as quiet as you could. He was leaving tomorrow, and you didn’t know the next time you’d see him. 

“Ben you won’t get on that ship with Luke unless you come out right now.” Leia threatened. Ben turned to you, his finger over his lip. Stay quiet. You held your breath. Eventually Leia gave up. You heard her footsteps retreat back into another room. 

“We can’t hide here forever.” You whispered. 

“I know.” Ben sighed. “But it’s still too weird, thinking about leaving here.” 

“It’s exciting!” You tried to smile encouragingly at him, only to be given back raised eyebrows in return. You elbowed him. “I wish I was going. I want to become a Jedi.”

“It’s not that easy Y/N.” He stared at the floor. “Nothing ever is.”

 

You’d been stuck in a cell for the past two weeks, and you hadn’t seen Ben since you told him to fuck off. Admittedly, he’d only done what you’d asked, but Phasma or one her stormtroopers would be onto you everyday for at least 6 hours, questioning you about the resistance. Most of the time you kept your mouth shut, refusing to even talk to any of the questioners. If they said something particularly out of line, you knew what to snap back, but you wouldn’t give anything away. You never would. Besides, you had your own mission. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard two sets of footsteps along the hall. One was undeniably a stormtrooper, the harsh stomping gave that away, but the other footsteps were softer and in a pace you didn’t recognise. 

“Prisoner 8132,” It was a trash voice, sharper than that of Phasma, and definitely male. “I have been informed you are yet to reveal to us any useful information.” 

He turned the corner and you recognised him immediately. 

“Ah, General.” Hux stared down at you, disdain written across his face. “I was wondering when you’d finally grace me with your presence.” You grin, only to be met with the same contempt look from the General. He stared at you for a moment, perhaps waiting for you to carry on but you stayed silent, when seemed to annoy him more. He turned to the stormtrooper. 

“Take her.” He said and the door of you cell flew open. 

“Oh please,” You sighed, standing up as the trooper grabbed your arm and pulled you up, “I half know the way now.” 

“Oh it’s not your usual interrogation today.” Hux sneered at you as you began to walk out of the prison. “You’ve proven to stupid to admit anything to Captain Phasma-”

“I’d find that to be rather smart actually, General.” You interrupted him, earning yourself another dirty look from him. 

“We’ll see how smart your mouth is after today.” He snapped back. You continued the rest of the walk in silence. 

Hux hadn’t been lying that they weren’t going to the usual interrogation room. It felt as though you’d been walking for hours when you finally stopped in front of an open door. Your breath caught in your throat as you walked into an empty room. There were no stormtroopers in this room, waiting with their pathetic guns and shitty interrogation tactics, there was only a chair in the middle of the room, with huge metal restrains on both the arm and the legs. You were intimidated, but there was no way in hell you were going to let them know that. 

You were dragged over to the chair, and the trooper began to put you into the restraints. 

“Wait here.” Hux said, taking the trooper and shutting the door.

“IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVE MUCH CHOICE!” You shouted as the door slammed shut behind him. You’d been in isolation when the resistance trained you. You’d even been tested to make sure that you wouldn’t slip under that sort of pressure. You tried to recall how you’d stayed calm. 

Music. Humming. You began to hum to yourself as the tune became clear again. The longer you sat there, the louder you became, eventually singing different songs to yourself. You had to admit the acoustics in that room weren’t all that bad. 

“You’ve obviously lost the ability to keep quiet.” You’d been so caught up in your own singing you’d failed to hear him enter. Ben, no Kylo. He was wearing the mask and it distorted his voice. 

“I can be quiet when I want to be,” you said, “but I’m sure you’ve been informed of that.” 

“I have.” He faced you, but he kept the mask on. Part of you was glad he had it on, if you had to look into his eyes you might have given into a part of you that you had forced yourself to leave behind the moment Luke Skywalker disappeared. 

“Well what do you think you can do about it?” You stared at him, waiting for a reaction. 

“You never used to have this much attitude.” 

“You never used to be a prick.” You retaliated. He chuckled, the sound was distorted, making you cringe. 

“It seems as though my forces aren’t strong enough to crack you, but they don’t know you like I do.” He said. “We have… history.”

“No shit.” You rolled your eyes. “What exactly are you going to do Kylo.” 

You couldn’t see his face, but you knew by the slight pause that he was surprised you’d called him Kylo, not Ben. 

“I’m going to give you a new promise.” He said. He took of the mask, and shook out his hair. So he hadn’t stopped being as vain as always . 

“Promise?” You questioned. 

“You don’t have to confess anything, I already know that you won’t do that willingly.” You heard a click and you felt your wrist restraints loosen up. “But you can quit working for the resistance and work here.”

“Doing what exactly?” You replied, surprised by your own reaction to this. Why did he have this effect on you?

“Mission management.” He replied curtly. You were conflicted. You didn’t want to betray the resistance, but being in prison was killing you. You also couldn’t imagine helping the First Order. 

But then it hit you. You could use your position not to aid the First Order, but to sabotage their missions. You could still work for the resistance, just in a different way. You hid your satisfaction from Kylo as you nodded. 

“Okay.” You said, and your foot restraints removed themselves. You stood up, stretching as Kylo watched you. “Let’s get to work.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Have you heard anything?” You look up to see the General Leia standing over you. You’d been working for the resistance as soon as you’d been old enough, and although you only worked in mission maintenance at the moment, Leia made her time to come round to you whenever she could. 

“Not for a few weeks now, General.” You replied. 

“Should I be worried?” She sat down in the empty chair next to you, and she wasn’t acting as your general anymore. She was the mother of your best friend, and she needed you more than she could ever admit to herself. 

“I don’t think so.” You sighed, shutting down the system in front of you. You were done for the day, now. “He’s done this before. He’ll be in touch soon I’m sure.” 

You rested your hand on Leia’s and she clutched it, whether to reassure you or herself, you weren’t sure. Ben had been training with Luke for some months now, and his contact was always infrequent, which didn’t help his mother’s nerves. 

“Luke hasn’t been in touch either.” Leia’s lips pursed together in thought. You weren’t sure what to reply. Of course you were worried about Ben too, but he wouldn’t do anything too stupid- or at least you hoped. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Leia.” You squeezed the older woman’s hand and she smiled in return. At least she seemed to believe it. 

“Star Destroyer is in position. Release the tie-fighters in T-minus 15 seconds.” You ordered into your headset, staring out into the void of stars in front of you. There were people around, but you hardly noticed them. It felt good to be back doing something, rather than being interrogated or locked up in a cell all day. 

“Engaging blasters incase of attack.” You heard. You didn’t care where the voice came from, not like you had with the resistance. These voice had no names, no real person behind them, just numbers in a stormtrooper mask. 

You began to tune out as the attack took place. Your job was to organise the ships, other people took care of the battle. Perhaps they didn’t trust you, but you couldn’t exactly blame them for that. 

The first day you’d put on that First Order uniform, you’d wanted to scream. This was against everything you stood for and yet here you were. You’d walked into the room to the sound of silence and a simple raised eyebrow from Hux. That told you all you needed to know, that you didn’t belong here. 

Work was bad enough. The silence and judgemental stares, but with the guilt that kept you awake at night, the fear of being found out and the separation from everyone you knew, that seemed to weigh on you even worse. 

Kylo, or Ben- you weren’t sure which to call him anymore- hadn’t been in contact since he’d gotten you work. Of course you’d appreciated it, but that was almost three months ago now. 

You needed to see him. Tonight. It was a rash decision, but then most of your decisions regarding him weren’t exactly well thought out. You weren’t even sure where he’d be, but you could guess. He was in this fight, he’d need some recovery in the private medical suite. If he wasn’t there, you’d leave, go back to bed and try find him the next night. But you needed him. 

You waited up for hours, listening to the sounds of storm troopers patrolling the halls, learning their movements. You found the gap in their patrol, and you slipped out. You’d walked these halls a hundred times now, you knew where the gaps were to hide, so that if you did run into a problem, you could also escape it. 

You held your breath as you knocked the door on the medical suite. 3 knocks quick, 2 slow. It was something Leia had always done on Ben’s bedroom door, something you knew he’d recognised.

The door made a hiss as it slid open, and you let out the breath, slipping inside. He pushed you against the wall. 

“What are you doing?” He whispered, his voice full of anger and fear at your presence. 

“I had to see you!” You whispered back. He carried on staring intently, trying to figure you out. You flashed him a nervous smile. He closed his eyes, his head drooping down as the tension in his body was released. 

“It’s not safe.” 

“No shit.” You grinned, placing your hand on his face, trying to bring the connection back with him you once had. “You used to like a bit of danger.”

“Not like this.” He pushed away from you, sitting down on the bed, refusing to look at you. 

“I’ll go.” You whispered, dejected. Perhaps home was further away than you thought. 

“Come back.” He sighed. He looked at you, his eyes full of a pain he didn’t want to feel. He’d left home for a reason, and perhaps you were a part of it. It didn’t matter. You were here now. 

“Not now, Ben.” You said. “I know this isn’t a goos time for you, I jumped the gun.” He smirked a little. That was an expression his mom had always used. “Just- please don’t leave me alone.” 

He began to answer, but you didn’t wait for a reply. It was up to him now. You left the room and went back to bed. 

You had a message waiting for you the next morning.


	4. Chapter 4

You stood next to the General. People stared, you only worked in computers so unless they’d been here for a long time would they know about your connection to her, the real reason that today she chose to keep yo close rather than one of her higher officers. 

The screens in front of them flared on, shining brightly. The image of Kylo Ren glared at them through the screen, talking in a voice almost unrecognisable, but you knew. You felt Leia’s grip on your hand as you both continued to stare at the screen. His face was hidden but you knew, it had to be him. 

“Surrender to the First Order and no one will get hurt.” A voice you didn’t know said to you through a screen. You knew him, you knew him so damn well until he left with Luke fucking Skywalker. It had been almost ten years, since you’d seen him though, and something had changed him. It made you want to burst into tears there and then, but if Leia could stay strong, so could you. 

More screens greeted you now, but they’d almost become familiar in an unsettling sort of way. They got you through the days you spent upon the ship, coding and changing plans altering missions and pointing out errors that others might miss. You also new exactly how to orchestrate the missions so that the resistance would be aware of them, hoping that eventually your sneaky work would pay off and they’d finally come to take one down. You missed the contact with them, especially Leia. How Ben coped, you’d never understand. 

You’d seen more of him since that night you’d barged into the medical suite, unannounced. He’d left notes under your door, telling you when was actually appropriate to come and visit him. Each night it was a risk, but it was one that thrilled you beyond anything else. It felt as though you were teenagers all over again, hoping one of your parents wouldn’t catch you sneaking into the kitchens to grab midnight snacks and talk about the infinite possibilities of the future.

Now it was mostly just him making sure that you weren’t still working for the resistance, which you definitely were, just a lot more subtly than you used to, and you asking him things which he’d give short, curt answers to. As much as you wanted information that you could somehow get back to the resistance, you cared more about having your friend back. He’d already sent a note two days ago about meeting that night, in a side control room that you often went to work it. At night, only the main controls were open, so it meant you’d have privacy. 

You idly scrolled through the screens, pulling up information but not really taking it in. Your mind began to wander, remembering times long forgotten, but a new screen appeared, one you’d never seen before. 

It flashed and you paused on it, opening up the files. Each one contained profiles on the resistance members that had been captured, but there was one face that stopped you in your tracks. 

The photograph of yourself had seemingly been taken when you’d first been captured, sitting in an interrogation chair. Your hair was shorter and a mess. The notes underneath read: 

REN LET HER OFF- PERSONAL CONNECTION FROM CHILDHOOD (ASSUMPTION- HUX)COULD STILL BE AN ISSUE  
ATTITUDE, TYPICAL OF A PILOT?  
NO INFORMATION GIVEN   
KEEP UNDER CONSTANT SUPERVISION

You stared, scrolling through more photos of you working, walking along the hallways, eating. There were new pictures taken once you’d started to work for the control room, with your hair neater. In every single one, Hux stood behind you, scanning everything you did. Things seemed to have eased off later int eh file, weeks passing by and less care being taken. There must have been bugger problems, ones you had to find out. You carried on scanning files about the resistance, but an noise sounded, deciding it was the end of the working day. 

You walked down the corridor obediently to your room, awaiting the stormtroopers to pass your room on their patrol so you could sneak out. Ben couldn’t know that you know the Order was watching you, but you also couldn’t pretend like you didn’t know. Tonight was going to be difficult. 

You knocked on the door twice, pausing before doing three more knocks. The door opened and you rushed in. Ben stood, wearing easy lounge clothes rather than his usual uniform, or as you liked to call it, his “costume”. 

“No one saw you?” He asked. 

“Do you think I’d be here if they had?” You replied. He rolled his eyes and began pacing the room. “Would you please chill out?” She sighed, pulling up a chair and then another in front of her, for her feet. 

“This isn’t a game.” He snapped back. You went quiet, your feet meeting the floor again. Ben saw your change and sighed, moving over to sit in the chair you’d just taken your feet from. “Sorry.” He whispered.

You looked up, “What for?” 

“Being an ass.” He smiled a little and suddenly you were sixteen again, your heart even flurried a little. “It’s… not an easy situation we’re in.”

“And whose fault is that?” You raised your eyebrows but he didn’t reply, he just carried on looking at you. He’d never been like this before. 

“You seem off today.” He said, leaning back in his chair, trying to figure you out, but you couldn’t let him. 

“You’re one to talk, what’s with the being nice?” You retorted, attempting to push the subject of conversation away from yourself. 

“I’m always nice.” He crossed his arms and you stifle a laugh. You lean forward, suddenly craving contact with him, so you place your hand on his knee. 

“I mean… have you ever been nice?” He huffed and leaned forward, meeting your eyes. You felt your breath catch. What did he know? Why was his attitude different? These questions flashed in your mind but there were gone almost as quickly as they’d appeared.

“Only when I’ve wanted to be.” He whispered. Your noses were almost touching now. This is the closest he’d ever come to you, and whilst you’d tried for years not to give into the tugging at your heart that always surrounded Ben fucking Solo, here he was, his breathe on your chin, your hand on his leg-

And nothing else seemed to matter. The resistance didn’t matter. The order didn’t matter. Kylo Ren didn’t matter. He wasn’t here. Ben was here. Ben you’d idolised, befriended and longed for, and suddenly those were all the feelings that hit you.   
You pressed your lips to his, letting them linger as his hand went to your waist. You stayed in that moment, letting it wash over you for just a second. 

But then it was over and a million thoughts flooded your head, unable to process anything. Everything seemed to have gone into hyperdrive and you couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m sorry.” You gasped and you fled the room, not waiting for the guards or Ben’s reply. 

This couldn’t happen. It couldn’t.


	5. Chapter 5

“Have you really never kissed a boy before?” Ben laughed.

“Why should you care if I have or haven’t?” You huffed, crossing your arms with defiance. 

Ben’s dark hair flopped in his eyes and you softened a little, but still pouted. He walked over to you and grinned. 

“Because I’d need to kick the ass of whoever had kissed you.” He winked. “You’re like my little sister or something.” You felt the blush rise to your cheeks, the tears pricking your eyes. You ran back to your bunk and lay on your bed, swearing to the universe that you would never let Ben Solo break your heart again. 

_________________________

Hux approached you, his permanent scowl more pronounced than usual, signalling his annoyance at something. You stood to meet him, trying to keep your own expression neutral. 

“You’ve been requested for an audience, Y/L/N.” Hux said, looking down at you. 

“May I ask by whom, General?” You asked, although you already had a feeling you knew exactly who with. 

Hux sighed and gritted his teeth as he said the name, “Kylo Ren.” You simply nodded and followed the stormtroopers down the now familiar hallways to Kylo’s quarters. 

You hadn’t seen him in almost 4 weeks now. He’d sent you 3 notes with meeting places and times but you had refused to go to any of them. Not since that kiss. Not since you started to feel all those feelings that you’d felt all those years ago start to bubble their way back to the surface. 

You threw yourself into work instead, trying harder and harder each day to make contact with the Resistance without being caught. You forced attacks to go wrong, trying to save as many people as you could but thought of destruction was starting to take its strain. Everyday you were forced to confront the numbers of people captured, killed, bought to the side of the Order, and you were forbidden from being told anything about the Resistance. 

The stormtroopers in front of you stop abruptly, breaking your train of thought. The door opened, and he stood in front of you once again. 

He looked more collected than usual, as you supposed he had to for work, but as collected as he seemed to be, you saw the fire behind his eyes. He stared at your form, despite the fact that Hux stood behind you in plain sight. 

Hux coughed and stole Ren’s attention from you, but you saw his eyes dart back to you for a second, in an attempt at subtlety. 

“Ren, your request for a worker on the new anti-resistance plans has been granted. Y/L/N will be working under you-“ You couldn’t help a snort of laughter escape at Hux’s words, earning you a further dirty look from the General before he continued, “As part of your team. Her knowledge on the resistance, along with your own, should be unstoppable. The rest of your team will be assembled tomorrow and I expect you to brief them with the knowledge you already have.” 

Ren nodded, which seemed to satisfy Hux enough that he left, along with his storm troopers, leaving you alone together. 

“I didn’t plan this.” Kylo muttered as you took your seat, refusing to look at him. 

“Never said you did.” 

“Your acting like your blaming me.” He huffed and you rolled your eyes, finally turning towards him. 

“I just think this happens to be a little strange of a coincidence, don’t you?” Ben shrugged and you closed your eyes, seeing the annoying 13 year old that you’d had a huge crush on. 

“What are you smiling about?” He asked. Your eyes snapped open and you realised a small smile had un-conscientiously appeared on your lips. 

“None of your business.” You turned back to the screen and started to look for any new information that had been received the night before. Ren came behind you, standing and watching your every move. You could feel his warmth, smell the leather from his suit. It was incredibly distracting.

HIs hand reached over and touched your shoulder. You looked down at it to see if was covered by a glove. He was hiding himself in the disguise of Kylo Ren. He couldn’t even leave this part of him human. You push it away, instead scanning the newest reports for any new information, not for the mission but for yourself. They’d relocated again, but to where, the First Order weren’t sure. 

You hid your relief from Ben, instead finding more reports. 

“Why haven’t you come to see me again?” He finally said, breaking the ice on the subject you had been trying so carefully to avoid. 

“I’ve been busy.” You lied. 

“Y/N,” Ben sighed, sitting down to meet your eyes. “If you don’t want this-“

“The problem is that I do want this, Ben.” You lifted your hand to his face gently, unable to restrain yourself from touching the one part of him that felt like him in that moment. “You aren’t allowed to do this, if anyone found out…”

“Then we make sure that they don’t.” 

“How can you be so naive, Ben?” You half laughed. “You really thing that this afternoon was a co-incidence? That the universe wants us to be together? Someone knows. Someone wants to hurt us.”

He went quiet. He looked at the floor, his hair falling in front of his face, hiding what he was really thinking. You reached out and brushed it away, surprised when he abruptly grabbed your hand and pulled you into him. 

“I don’t care.” He kissed you, hard and cold, like he was trying to prove something. Your lips responded before you could think, kissing him back with the same intensity, as though it was a game one of you was trying to win. 

You became breathless, the kiss consuming you. You ran your hand through his hair and he lifted you from the ground. You wrapped your arms around his waist like you’d done it a million times. His lips left your mouth and made their way to your neck, allowing you to breath once again. You closed you eyes and wrapped around your arms around him. You needed to stop. 

“Ben,” You whispered in his ear. “How much do we have to lose?” 

“You’re the only thing I have left.” He whispered back. His voice sent shivers down your spine, but you kept your hold on him. “I’m not willing to give that up.”

“Then we won’t.” You replied, kissing him again.


End file.
